I'm the King of the Common Cold – and I Can Tell You Tips for Staying Healthy

Around this period a year ago, I ended up on a TV programme in the company of three performers. There was a hip-hop artist with Ghanaian roots, a well-known pop singer, and a famous mezzo-soprano. The coldest season was upon us. The night before, I celebrated a close friend's milestone birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space in the Surrey region. It had been a good night, but now, simply to make conversation, I questioned ways to dodge the common cold when half the people at the party were contributing to a chorus of sniffles and coughs. By the way, how come some people have nose-blows like trumpets, and others don’t? Something to explore later.

The Response of the Three Performers

Upon referencing the party, the group of artists in the TV green room responded in two ways. Firstly, they moved back a bit. Second, they engaged in a feverishly enthusiastic discussion regarding ways to stay cold-free that naturally enough given their line of work was a major concern for them. That makes sense, but I'm also deeply invested – I must avoid colds at all costs as my symptoms are harsher than most. There's no doctor's note to prove it, but I firmly believe it. My colds last longer. I experience worse nasal blockage, my throat feels rougher, my coughing fits are louder, barkier and apparently endless. My relatives, wise to the couple of quick throat-clearances that signal an oncoming cold, either kick me out of the room or evacuate the area. When I worked as a sports broadcaster, my teammates behind the scenes became familiar with the indicators. “Headphones off!” the studio director would holler to the staff before I deafened them all, damaging their headset equipment.

Managing Nasal Congestion

When it comes to congestion, I could go on and on. Sprays, drops, even the electric shock of fumes of boiling plum brandy my mum prescribes … they all work for a while until they fail. It's hard to find something more pathetic as a Midlands dialect spoken without the benefit of air passing through the nostrils. I mean, it can sound nasal even normally. At least this elicits sympathy, though that's not necessarily beneficial. In my first year away at university, away from my mum and her medicinal brandy, the cleaning staff at our accommodation showed me kindness. “I have the perfect solution, you unfortunate soul. Be right back.” She was wonderfully sweet, very Irish, and adamant that I consume the uncooked, peeled onion she presented to me. She stood and watched me do so. Goodness gracious. It didn't help at all, unfortunately, except for upsetting my stomach and creating bad breath.

The Mezzo-Soprano’s Cold Avoidance Regime

So no, I loathe winter illnesses and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures which traditional or modern, don’t work. I focused carefully alongside my colleagues when the mezzo-soprano walked us through her cold avoidance regime. With seasonal gigs on the schedule, she approached it with great diligence. She directed us to use hand gel hourly during the cold months as far as I could deduce in addition, specific measures were necessary when it came to parties and what not. Before any event, she suggested a few applications of a nasal spray up each nostril – whether you felt a cold coming or not. Intense. I appreciated it. Moreover, she required a repeat application later with additional bursts of the same stuff.

What Happened Next

I followed suit. And I have to say I snuffled not once all last winter. There were downsides: the numerous products I purchased, mislaid, repurchased, located, etc. And that dispiriting moment you realise you’ve sat on the little vessel of hand gel stored in your pocket and it’s now splurging everywhere. Nevertheless, a small cost for the benefit. With winter returning, I’m re-armed to the teeth with her prevention arsenal. I'm prepared to combat.